You know, I have not yet accomplished a lot of things in my life, but I can tell you that I have fixed a lot of things. Going from I don’t want to live to I want to live to see my future—for me, this was the biggest thing that I have achieved. Many people don’t even have the slightest idea that there are people who work their asses off just to go from negative to zero, to the starting point, to the point where everyone by default starts from—and that’s me. I have done it.
From painful days to lonely nights, and those days too when you see a pretty girl and it somehow makes you question your entire reality (boys will relate with me here), and I am still going after all. No matter how hard it was to reach here, it’s just the starting point.
Part of the reason that I decided to write about this is that you will always have a ladder to climb, so there is never a right time to write about this. So I am just going to share it now.
I did it because I am gritty. I don’t care if things are hard, if it’s going to take a long time, if I am underprepared, if I am under pressure—I don’t complain. I take the authority into my hands and say, “Okay, it’s not worth it to sit and lament about the situation I am in and dread the outcomes. Let’s take action.” And that’s powerful.
The fact is, the situation doesn’t matter; it’s how you respond in that situation.
Catastrophe Blooms
You read above that you should take action given any situation, but what if you take action and you lose again and again? There will be a point in time when all you will have is a collection of failures to your name. How can you not be devastated? How can you not be overwhelmed?
The truth is, you will be devastated, and you will be overwhelmed. That’s where the grit comes in—the feeling of I will do it again, I will fight again, I will not give up. The only two options are winning or dying trying. That’s it—nothing in between.
When you know for a fact that if you stop right now, “things will remain the same,” that line—things will remain the same—it somehow scares me. Because yeah, I accept my reality the way it is, but to think that things can be different if I just show up and try…
Knowing certainly what I should do in this situation, there has to be something seriously wrong with me if I am not at least trying to do it.
I am a different being in this game—the game where you win because you didn’t give up.
Denying the Sun
Why should you keep going? The answer is simple: if you don’t do anything, things will remain the same. But if you keep trying—just showing up with the hope that things might change—it will happen.
The thing that keeps me going is that I am like death—it doesn’t matter how many times I lose, I just have to win once, and then it’s all over. No games from then. Surely, you will move to a different game (situation), and that’s life—there will always be a ladder to climb.
The fact is, I have never given up in my life. The time period of my comebacks could have been bigger, but it’s just innate to me.
To stop the bloom of catastrophe, you should deny it the sun—and remember, the sun shows up every morning.
How to Deny the Sun
I mean, the title is a bit fancy, so here are some tips that will help you avoid misery:
1 - Avoid attaching your feelings
See, pain and suffering are two different things. People think both of them are the same, but no, they are not. If you are in a situation and you are feeling hurt, don’t attach your feelings to that situation (it applies to a person too). Say that the situation is as it is.
I am a detective on a crime scene—I might feel bad for the victim, but it doesn’t hinder my course of action. Remember, a building is just a building until someone calls it their home.
2 - Never do self-pity
If you keep telling yourself that you are the reason for the problem—I did this, whenever I try to do something it doesn’t go the right way, I am a burden on other people—you can never fix yourself or your situation. I don’t have to tell you this in detail—it’s just you running away from the problem by romanticizing yourself as a victim.
It’s just copium, bro. Be a man—accept it and fix it.
3 - Stop labeling yourself
Often, people put a label on themselves, or other people put it on them, judging by an anecdote or a habit. It’s dangerous because you are taking away your own liberty to change.
Like, “Oh, I have a sweet tooth, so I can’t stop myself from having something sugary,” even though I am trying to reduce calorie intake. And when you try to change and things don’t go your way, now you have something to blame—a label that you put on yourself.
4 - Have high accountability
People always blame external things for their failures—like, “Oh, this didn’t happen and I lost,” “That didn’t happen and I lost.” But they take away their chance to learn from the situation because they are not the ones who caused the problem. It was the external situation that messed them up, so in their mind, they are perfect.
You must avoid this at all costs. Take accountability, even if things went wrong because of external circumstances. Don’t be harsh on yourself—just accept it.
A Gentle Night
At the end, what I want to say is that being gritty—it will hurt. You will feel pain, and yes, you will suffer. But please take care of yourself.
You are all you have got. You have absolute control over yourself. You are the most precious thing you own, so be gentle sometimes. Talk to yourself and tell yourself that you are doing good. Things don’t need to happen right now—let them take their time.
And smile more.
— Swarit Shukla